The Top Class Wednesday Update is glad everything’s completely normal
Day five million in the Big Brother house, and the contestants have started to eat each other. “This is normal,” says Suella, gnawing on a thigh bone. “I’m struck by how well everything is working,” says Dominic, popping a juicy eyeball into his dry, blackened mouth. I’ve been looking for a long time for a […]
The Top Class Wednesday Update will look after you
Hello hello, me again after a week’s break from Updating at a keyboard in favour of Updating anyone who cared to drop by at HomeGame 2 last week. Thanks to everyone who came along – just under 170 in the room and nearly 300 online – and I hope you had a nice time. I […]
The Top Class Wednesday Update is on the edge
Hello again, welcome to your autumn but go easy on the heating. I have a couple of announcements this week, but the main one is that the Update is now denominated in dollars and so will cost you just a little more each month, but that’s a small price to pay for growth, amirite? Almost […]
The Top Class Wednesday Update is living in a fragmented world
And so it came to pass that the Platform of the Year Awards were held on a Tuesday night, and Mark had not lined anyone else up to write the Update and lo, he looked and he found that it was really not good. But given that the damage was self-inflicted he had no choice […]
The Top Class Wednesday Update delivers delivers delivers delivers
You know what? I can’t even. So here’s a joke instead. Why are ants always getting sick? Because they only have tiny antibodies. Thank you. I’m not here all week. Might take to my bed for the next two years. Quite tempted to leave the Update there. But I won’t. Instead, let’s have a think […]
The Top Class Wednesday Update feels your ennui
Well, we’re in it now. 22% inflation, anyone? And the solution is…to drill more oil wells which might be operational in 25 years’ time. I think the only rational response here is either to go round blindfolded and ear-plugged in an attempt to avoid all this, or to get absolutely stocious and watch Mikael Gorbachev’s […]
The Top Class Wednesday Update is fighting inlfation
Happy Wednesday everybody, if indeed it is a happy Wednesday. I’m struck today by the cover of City AM, which isn’t usually required reading in the fine port of Leith, but which is when it looks like this. No doubt that things are tough, but your faithful Update is doing its bit to fight inflation […]
The Top Class Wednesday Update is immune to cancellation
This feels…unusual. If an Update falls in an inbox and Mark hasn’t palmed it off on someone else to do, is it even an Update? We may never know, but in the meantime here I am back again after three weeks off Update duty, and it appears that everything has got even more appalling and […]
The Top Class Wednesday Update has a long knife you can borrow
Most weeks I write the Update on a Tuesday night; the last few have been early Wednesday mornings. This is a Tuesday night one and as I write the entire British political system is convulsing in a highly satisfying manner. This has made it hard to concentrate on financial stuff, but I’ll do what I […]
The Top Class Wednesday Update doesn’t want to hear it
Oh in the name of the wee man, here we go again. Last time – 2014 if you please – some wag dubbed the Scottish independence referendum ‘the neverendum’ (actually it was first used for one of the Quebecois referenda) and that resonated with a lot of people on both sides. We now face another […]
