THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE IS HERE FOR YOUR STONKS

Were you in? On #GME? And Dogcoin? Were ya? I’m proud to say that I took all the cash we’ve built up in the lang cat over the last 10 years, and SPANKED it straight on these STONKS because that’s what RoaringKitty told me to do. No, I didn’t, and neither did you (though Mark […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE TAKES THE LONG VIEW

Nearly done with January. And breathe. They – whoever ‘they’ are – say it’s darkest just before the dawn. This isn’t true – it’s coldest just before dawn; the lighting state is influenced primarily by lunar phase and urban light pollution – but it’s a useful way of saying that you shouldn’t be downhearted; that […]
YOU HAVE NO NEED TO PARDON THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE

No, indeed you do not, for the Update is practically perfect in every way and shines out in the darkness like…I dunno, a big shiny thing, but one which kind of has its own light rather than reflecting other light, or maybe both. That sort of shiny. Not this sort of shiny. I’m glad we’ve […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE CANNOT BE DEPLATFORMED

What a week, what a week. We are all living through stuff that will be written about in the history books here – I mean, we’re always doing that, that’s the way history works – but even so, this was a big, hairy, two-bottle week. It’s a tale of…what, exactly? Sound and fury for sure, […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE IS DIVING BACK UNDER THE DUVET

And so it came to pass that the old year ended, and the people did cautiously open their eyes on the new year’s morn, and lo they found that everything was much the same except slightly worse because of the military drum cadre playing a tattoo on the inside of their skull owing to half […]
THE LANG CAT’S ALBUMS OF 2020

First things first – you’re not expected to read this (though it’s obviously lovely if you do). I’ve done a roundup of my albums of the year every year since we started – so this is the tenth one – and it’s as much for me as for you. Strike that, it’s massively more for […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE IS OUT OF HERE

And so it’s nearly over, thank the deity of your choice. The No Fun Decade I wrote about 11.5 months ago started and self-actualised in a way very few of us could have ever have imagined, and what followed was attritional. “If you want a picture of the future,” wrote George Orwell in 1949, “imagine […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE MAKES NO CHARGE FOR ONGOING SERVICE

Greetings from the Isle of Wight. The boss is apparently busy with other stuff (presumably organising our virtual office Christmas party [1] ) so for one week only I’m back in charge of the weekly update. Sitting comfortably? Then we shall begin. It was a pretty full-on week last week, what with Parmenion, Nucleus, Transact […]
All change in Platform Land

Any thoughts of a quiet end to the year in platform land [1] were firmly kicked into touch at midday today with Nucleus publishing a statement regarding a possible offer, a story that had been broken by the mighty Jack Gilbert at NMA a few minutes earlier. This of course comes on top of the […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE MIGHT PUT THE TREE UP EARLY THIS YEAR

Welcome to the last twelfth of the year so bad they named it twice. If you’re still here – and that’s a conditional phrase that carries more weight than it should this year – then you made it. Well done. Nearly there. Keep going. I’m usually a bit of a moan about the run-up to […]