THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE IS 90% EFFECTIVE WHEN TAKEN IN TWO DOSES

Reasons to be cheerful, one two three…I don’t know where you stand, but I’m starting to book up gig tickets for next autumn. As my oldest, wisest and best mate Alsy says, “Personally planning to gig my **** off once we can”. Words to live by. The Update always tells the truth, and to be […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE’S LEVEL IS ALL THE WAY UP TO 11

It’s true; while various parts of the country labour under level three, two and even four if you live in the west of Scotland’s Central Belt, your faithful Update exists on a completely different scale. Level 11 allows the Update to travel freely in time and space, raid your drinks cupboard, insult your local sports […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE WINS EVERYTHING BY A LOT

After a monumentally rubbish eight months, the occasional shaft of sunlight pierces the clouds – a U-turn on whether it’s OK to let kids go hungry, the potential for a vaccine that works, and the really big one…genuine, laugh-out-loud comedy from the American politico-judicial process. If it wasn’t for the import taxes I’d be buying […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE IS SERENE, COURAGEOUS AND WISE

So I’m writing this at about 10pm on Tuesday night, trying to work out whether to bother staying up to see the first of the results come in. Looking at my diary tomorrow I suspect the answer is no. If you did I hope you got what you wanted. Personally I’m torn, as the last […]
Hello Fundment!

During the 2010s, several commentators were fond of sayings things like ‘within five years, there will only be four or five adviser platforms’. Their fantasy was that the behemoths would hoover up the smaller, generally start-up-based, platforms, thus preserving the traditional establishment’s grip on the UK retail investment market and enjoying a vertical integration-based nirvana. […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE REJECTS BOTH TRICKS AND TREATS

As we move further from Beltane and towards Samhain – not only a fine festival but also one of Glenn Danzig’s best projects – and a pattern of daylight which really only suits farmers, our collective chins may start to head towards our collective chests. There is not much cheer to be found out there, […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE THINKS IT WILL ALL END IN TIERS

Regular readers might recall that the boss ended last week’s update on this bombshell: “I’m on holiday next week, so will pick the feline I like least and have them do the Update”. Oh. Right. Fortunately, whilst Mark is away enjoying the Scottish Weather, there is plenty happening down here in the lang cat IOW […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE HAS A MAGNETIC BACK NOW

It is, in a way, reassuring that even in these troubled times, Californian billionaires still find new ways to get us to buy very slightly different versions of things we have already. Human nature is still intact. Speaking of human nature, last week’s Update sparked a near-unprecedented flurry of various interested parties and observers taking […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE HAS NEVER KNOWINGLY USED ITS DISCRETION

I bet he didn’t even have it. It’s tempting to do something about lack of discretion and all that, but time’s marching on and our subject this week is a little weightier than usual. We need to talk about DFMs, and specifically DFM model portfolios on platform. I covered this back in June when Tatton […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE WON’T EVER TALK OVER YOU

You want to know who I feel sorry for? The producers and writers of the new Spitting Image, that’s who. Satire – puppet-based or otherwise – made sense in 1985, but in this new auto-satirical time there really doesn’t seem to be much point. Sigh. Let’s kick things off this week with an OFFER YOU […]