THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE WON’T EVER TALK OVER YOU
You want to know who I feel sorry for? The producers and writers of the new Spitting Image, that’s who. Satire – puppet-based or otherwise – made sense in 1985, but in this new auto-satirical time there really doesn’t seem to be much point. Sigh. Let’s kick things off this week with an OFFER YOU […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE SAYS WE CAN REBUILD IT
I’m back, after two weeks of – well, nothing, really. The first week I wasn’t even on holiday but Mike kindly stepped in to give me a break from Updates. Last week I was on holiday but it was rubbish, and now it’s thirteen degrees and chucking it down in Edinburgh and this time last […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE TO START
I don’t mind telling you, siblings, that keeping a topical, weekly, newsy Update going through a pandemic where there is next to nothing exciting to write about can be a schlep at times. With what tattered shreds of self-respect I have left gathered magnificently around me, I flat refuse to spend any time working on […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE WRITES RIGHT, RIGHT?
Week 9 of the #langcatlockdown, and some of the new certainties we’ve grown used to are chucked up in the air again, straddling as we do the Scottish / English border (and that bit of water between civilisation and the Isle of Wight). Can we bring our English colleagues up to the border, stand on […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE MADE AN ERROR OF JUDGEMENT
Yes, it’s true. When the TCWU travelled across town for an extracurricular horizontal dalliance with another Update, it was on the basis of assuming that following my father’s advice of ‘do what I say not what I do’ was applicable to public health, and also because, y’know, it had been a while and we’re all […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE WANTS WHAT YOU WANT
What would you keep and what would you like to leave behind when all this is over? We can probably all agree that daily 5pm briefings and obsessing about the ravings of a madman about ingesting domestic cleaning products are best left in the past, but when we go back to business as usual, will […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE ONLY EVER LOST 9.9%
Another week in, and it seems forever ago that I was able to be a hermit because I wanted to be rather than being forced. Days of thunder, I tell you. My only wish is that, when all this is over, video conferencing by people hunched over laptops in dimly lit rooms becomes a thing […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE HAS ALWAYS BEEN SOCIALLY DISTANT
That escalated quickly, didn’t it? I hope you are all cocooned in your basement / back bedroom / orangery (you know who you are) safely, with stocks of your favourite beverage and plenty of biscuits. It is at times like this that we can all appreciate the great genius that is the custard cream. I […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE SEES BOTH SIDES
Back again, just as many of you head off on your half term hols. I spent a chunk of mine in Whitby, which is an excellent place. In just three days I experienced 75mph winds, fish and chips at the Magpie (twice) and an unplanned visit to a steampunk festival. You can’t get much more […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE JUST WANTS ITS MONEY BACK
Over the last year, the TCWU has become as much a public service as a fascinating, erudite, entertaining and above all indispensable companion to your hoisin duck wrap or whatever on a Wednesday lunchtime. This is objectively true; inasmuch as the TCWU is any of those things, it is also a public service. The exact […]
