GET YOUR MONEY BACK OUT AGAIN WITH THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE
It strikes me that everyone is angry this week. Much of it has to do with milkshakes, and whatever the rights and wrongs of all that, the bloke who chucked a Five Guys shake must have been really committed. I don’t let my kids have them because they’re five quid a pop. It wasn’t all […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE HAS ITS OWN GRAVITATIONAL PULL
Fate is capricious, siblings, and laughs at our misguided attempts at self-determination. When it gives us a clear sign, we are best to follow it. And so this week’s Wednesday finds me Updating you from the lush confines of a Travelodge in the South West of Englandshire on the very day that the South West’s […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE GOES FULL STATTO
Hello, me again, here to mark the exact mid-point between the Fear you feel at the working week to come, and the Fear you feel at having to spend the weekend with your family. It’s a public service of a sort, I suppose. It’s results time (you did well, darling, don’t worry) and we’re starting […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE NEVER CONTAINS SPOILERS
Hello again, siblings. If it’s true that time is a human construct, devised by the ancients to explain the otherwise random and horrifying universe, then it must follow that marking the passing of that time with, for example, a weekly update timed to go out exactly at 12 noon is an almost Platonic expression of […]
GET BACK TO WORK WITH THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE
“Did you have a nice…?” “Yes, it was very…” “Seems a long time…” “Certainly does, ready for the next…” So that’s sorted that out, good to catch up. Now put your behind in the chair and do some work. You’ve got a lunchtime, I’ve got an Update and we might as well sit the two […]
DINNA HIV THE POOTS LIKE A PEEDIE-BREEKS, YON’S THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE
The linguists amongst you will spot straight away that this week’s Update comes from the remarkable islands of Orkney, the scene of the Polson clan Easter holidays. ‘Orkney’ itself is an interesting word, coming from the Norse ‘Orkneyjar’ which supposedly has something to do with small pigs but which I am pretty convinced means “By […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE NEVER ASKS FOR AN EXTENSION
Anyone who’s ever had coursework to do for anything knows that feeling of fear as you have to go and ask your tutor / teacher / boss for an extension. I can’t help remembering a time when, hung over, I had to go and ask my English Language tutor for one, and I just couldn’t […]
LOSE AN HOUR’S SLEEP WITH THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE
It’s that time of the week again, siblings, and that cruellest time of the year when otherwise intelligent people struggle and fail to adjust the time on basic household devices. (The way to deal with it is to move house, by the way). But that’s it, spring is here, and lilacs will breed out of […]
TAKE BACK CONTROL WITH THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE
One time, when on holiday with the lang kittens in a part of England that I can’t remember, we went to a forest park place called Bewilderwood. The back-story for this place was something to do with creatures who looked like people who were called Twiggles, and creatures who didn’t look so much like people […]
THE TOP CLASS WEDNESDAY UPDATE ISN’T ANGRY, IT’S DISAPPOINTED
Hello, hello, it’s Wednesday again, which means you get an Update of the Top Class variety. I think we can all agree that that’s the very best kind of Update. You wouldn’t want a mediocre one, or even a standard class one. It would be too crowded, you wouldn’t be able to pretend to get […]
